At the risk of coming across very negative, I had to share this new survey that came out in England this week. The article has been getting a lot of buzz lately and I wanted to get others thoughts on it. I have felt very sad and disappointed with the findings. I want to believe that people are happy and satisfied in their marriages but it has been hard for me to when I see very few examples of great marriages. Do they exist? Am I just expecting too much? Here are some of the results from the poll that was given. They are depressing and don't leave you with a lot of hope. (I do take into consideration that this is just a survey so it's not a complete representation of everyone also it was taken in England and maybe their marriages are different over there.)
- A shocking 56 per cent admitted they were not completely happy in their relationship and more than half said they had considered splitting from their partner
- 60% of woman said they would divorce immediately if their future economic security was assured
- Half of husbands thought their marriage was "loveless"
- More than one in ten wished they had wed someone else
- Thirty-seven percent said they were staying together for the sake of the children
- Almost 30 per cent said they were staying in a doomed marriage to save themselves going through a massive upheaval
Your thoughts?
Sunday, January 20, 2008
'Til Death Do Us Part?
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5 comments:
Rod and I talked this over over breakfast this morning. We think the survey is sad, but that we are forgetting to look at the OTHER 50% who ARE happy in their marriage. We think it's easy to look at marriage as "happy ever after", but in reality it takes work every single day. We have always tried to be very realistic with what we expect from our marriage and from each other, and I think that has helped with our level of happiness.
Then again, right after we said this, we got in a little spat about whether Superman came to earth in a space ship or in an asteroid. What the... :)
It was a spaceship that looked like an asteroid! I think that most times people have a "movie-marriage" attitude: "and they lived happily ever after." Has anyone seen the movie Enchanted? I have, and even though she took it completely off the deep end, it isn't too far from the truth. Some people believe that "my prince will come and save me." Jamie was right in saying that it takes work every day. A happy and fulfilling marriage takes a complete and total dedication to the spouse. It isn't easy, and I also believe some people will leave, or have thoughts like those mentioned in the survey, when things get hard. Most people don't realize how hard it can be.
It is sad, though, to hear that there are that many people who are unhappy in their marriage. I wish they would realize that a marriage can be like school: who really enjoys school every minute of their life? Even though it is hard, and it isn't constantly uplifting and enjoyable, does it not bring a rewarding result in your life? Does it not help you and progress you for the REST of your life? We need to return to reality.
I have to agree with Jamie and Charlie on this one. What about the other 50% who were completely happy in their relationship? The media DOES portray a very unrealistic and dangerous version of what love is. It is not roses and dancing and butterflies all the time.
Real life sets in and can be very difficult to manage: work, school, bills, travel, sickness, death, pregnancies, disagreements. The wonderful thing is that if you continue to forgive and be patient and become a better person, a marriage can give you a best friend to experience these things with. I don't believe in "the one" and think it is damaging to think that way. What I do believe in is marrying someone you find interesting and who is interested in you. Throughout all of the hardships of life, you will have a best friend to talk to, dream with, and hold you when you need it the most.
And with a bit of luck, and a lot of hard work, you can be happier after 7 years of marriage then you every were before!
My thoughts are that Satan is hard at work. I am glad my sisters have an honest perspective. Maybe us "children of divorce parents" have more realistic expectations? I say that when a marriage is bad, it is very hard, but if it is good, it is REAllY good. Takes alot of work.
And how come I am not one of your "Blogs I stalk"??????hmmmm?
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